A letter to the President: Energy Crisis Solved

Dear Mr. President,

With the world energy crisis being at a forefront in daily discussions, I, being a true American citizen, have devised a plan that could end our dependency on foreign oil, foreign countries, foreign whatever. This highly intelligent, never thought of, talk about "out of the box" idea came to me while sitting in my living room this morning. If I said I was in deep thought, I'd be lying.. the truth is I was totally exhausted. You see I had been yelling at my four and two year old all morning. As I sat there and watched them literally bouncing off the wall, I asked myself "where in the hell do they get all of this energy?"

And that's when it struck me. What if I took a set of jumper cables, attached them to a couple of huge nails that were driven into a bycicle helmet, and rigged up some type of device that would capture or could store that raw, unharnessed, wear me out every single time energy? Can you say "CHAA-GHING." Man I'd be rich, we'd be rich, the whole freaking USA would be rich.

As you can see Mr. President, I still have a few details to work out, like convincing the two year old not to touch metal while wearing the helmet, or staying clear of water that's collected in the yard after a rain, of better yet peeing in your pull-up could cause some serious injuries. But as for the four year old, he'll be a bit easier to convince of the possible scientific breakthrough he'll be contributing to. As a matter of fact.. he'll be more than likely to help build this contraption knowing the possible side effects it could inflict on his sister.

Now I know Mr. President, you will perhaps require a demonstration and would want to know how I plan to tame such wild, carefree, can't hear a word I say, talk-back constantly, never heard of an indoor voice, always on the move energy. Well, I'm still trying to figure that part out.. one thing I do know, Yelling at the top of my lungs seems to increase their energy level so I'll make sure to include that as part of a contingency plan, in case we need a back-up. I could allow you to perhaps witness this phenomenal energy that I have so graciously spoken of. You, being the President, could easily find my house, send a couple of black sedans, and wisk them away.. notice I mentioned two sedans. Them riding together on such a long trip would be ill advised. Also, if there's anything in the White House that isn't nailed down, you might want to secure it or place it on a shelf that's out of their reach. Just looking out for the National Treasures. Again thank you for your time and I will keep you posted.

Sincerely Yours,

Black Man Having a Baby.